


Dragon Ball Court

by HinaSaku



Category: Dragon Ball
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 02:50:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9528587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HinaSaku/pseuds/HinaSaku
Summary: The characters of the Dragonball series are taking each other to court for various reasons ranging from incidents from fanfics I've read or whatever comes off the top of my head to real events (aka canon events in the DB universe). Inspired by the genius nedthejanitor.





	

"All rise for the honorable judge Alexander the Great." said the old man who served as baliff for the court.

"Do I know you?" asked the judge staring at the old man. The old bag of bones didn't even look like he couldn't even knock over a piece of bread much less handle somebody who needed to be dragged out if they got too rowdy.

"I'm fillin' in for my grandson."

"Ooooh-kaaaaay then…" Alex shook his head. He was in no mood to get into a spat with an old man. Chances were that he was not going to win as past experiences had shown him…that and watching tv. "What's today's case?"

"How should I know? I'm only here to sit down and watch you do shit." said the old man shrugging.

"You old piece of crap! You've got the case in your fucking hands!" snapped the judge.

"I wasn't told…"

"GIVE IT HERE THEN!" he growled wanting to beat the man with his hammer of justice aka his mallet.

"You young people these days! No respect…"

"YOU'RE FIRED AND YOUR DAMN GRANDSON IS FIRED FOR LETTING YOUR OLD ASS IN HERE!" He snatched away the file and yelled into the audience. "GOKU, DROP THAT CORNDOG AND GET YOUR MUSCULAR ASS OVER HERE! DRAG THIS SORRY ASS OLD MAN OUT OF MY COURTROOM AND COME BE MY BALIFF!"

"Gee, I don't know. He really hasn't…"

"Do it!" hissed Chichi. "He'll have to pay you! I'm tired of eating fish!"

"Well okay…but will there be food?" asked Goku who was then elbowed roughly by his wife.

"Yes. Before every session you will be fed and at the end of the week paid, now get over here and hail this fatass outta here!"

Goku then escorted the old man out of the courtroom instead of tossing him out on his ass like he should have and got into position, much to his wife's delight. "Goku read the case please."

"OK!" Goku said a little too excited. "Vegeta is getting sued for being a jerk to the people who worked for him, Raditz and Nappa."

"Really? Interesting...bring them in."

The three full blooded saiyans then entered into the courtroom and were booed and hissed. It wasn't long before things got ugly.

"…and that's why your weak ass got killed by a fucking saibaman, you weak punk!" snapped Nappa at guess who.

"You got bitch slapped into a house with my tail! MY FREAKING TAIL! Do you think you're hot shit because you've got hair now, huh weakling!?" Raditz said giving Krillin the finger.

"You wanna go jackass!?" 18 said standing up before Krillin could come up with a good comeback.

"Meanie face!" little Marron made a face at the long haired saiyan.

"SHUT UP YOU LITTLE NOSELESS BASTARD CHILD! GO GROW A NOSE!" Raditz shouted at Marron who then burst out crying.

"WATCH YOUR MOUTH, SONIC THE HEDGEHOG! NOBODY MESSES WITH MY FAMILY!" 18 and Krillin were preparing to give Raditz the whopping of a lifetime.

"BRING IT!" Raditz shouted, not knowing the major butt kicking he was in for.

"I heard your wife's gotcha on a leash, Vegeta!" shouted Jeice. "No one can defeat me my ass! If you and your wife ever got into a fight, all she would have to do is say no gravity room and you'd give in!"

"Earth's made you soft, prince of 7 people!" laughed Guldo.

Vegeta powered up. "SAY THAT AGAIN, YOU DEAD DORKS!"

"7 PEEEEEEEOPLE!" shouted the whole force.

"GALICK…"

Luckily Goku stopped Vegeta and dragged the prince to where he was supposed to be as well as his older brother and Nappa. Meanwhile the judge slammed the hammer onto the podium. "Calm your asses or my baliff is tossing your asses out!"

Everyone shut up since no one could beat Goku's ass anyway. However before the judge could tell someone to give their account of the story, someone threw a bottle of piss at Vegeta…and missed. "WHAT FUCKER THREW THAT?!"

"It was Puar!" squealed Oolong.

"Liar!" Puar slapped Oolong. "It was this idiot Oolong!"

"No it wasn't!"

"Oolong, it's not nice to lie." said Goku having spotted the pig done the deed.

"I'LL SEE YOU AFTER COURT, YOU WALKING BACON!" Vegeta shook a fist at him.

"Aaaaanywaaaaay…Raditz and Nappa, explain please."

"Well your honor, this piece of short shit killed me for no reason other than being a fucking dick!" said Nappa pointing at the scowling prince. "I've been taking care of this fucker since he was shat out and that was my payment! BEING BLOWN UP FOR NO REASON AT ALL!"

"I BLEW YOU UP BECAUSE YOU WERE WEAK AND USELESS!"

"That's was still no reason to kill anybody!" said Goku throwing in his two cents.

"Nobody asked you Kakarot!"

"He also refused to wish Raditz back too!" concluded Nappa. "He was the main reason Raditz got killed anyway! He was planning on getting all the remaining saiyans together, training, and overthrowing Frieza! Raditz wouldn't have died if Vegeta hadn't forced him to go get Kakarot!"

"He was weak too! Nobody needs him!" Vegeta snapped. "Plus I didn't force him! I told him he could!"

"Then why the fuck did you tell him off when he was taking his time going then?!

"Your defense Vegeta?" asked Alex.

"I have none except Nappa and Raditz are piles of shit! I'M GLAD THEY'RE DEAD AND IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME, I WOULDN'T CHANGE SHIT!"

"Because we know your secrets! That's why you wanted us dead!" Raditz looked at Vegeta with an evil smirk on his face.

"What secrets could you possibly know, you walking fur ball?"

"Plenty." Raditz had a mischievous look on his face.

"Name one then."

"For starters, I know for a fact that you used to ask to sleep with me because you were having 'nightmares', but we both know you wanted a piece of ass!"

"LIAR!"

"Vegeta don't even get me started." the bald warrior rolled his eyes. "I saw how you looked at him from the time you met him! Even if that's not true, I know of plenty of times where I've seen you going into Raditz's room at night!"

"Wanting a piece of ass of course."

"YOU'RE LYING!" Vegeta was as red as a strawberry by now and everyone could clearly see he was lying.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Yamcha laughed "I knew it! See? I told you! YOU OWE ME 50 BUCKS, BULMA!"

"Dang it!" Bulma growled as she reached into her purse.

"What the…you guys betted?" Alex said surprised.

"Yeah…Yamcha betted Vegeta was slightly into men and I betted he wasn't." Bulma sighed.

"Ew! Gross!" Trunks said making a face. "Does this mean dad's been looking at me funny?"

"Oh hell no, boy! Don't be an idiot!" snapped Vegeta.

"Well…um…any witness to your…accounts?" said Alex.

"Yes. I want to call my brother to the stand."

"Who? Me?"

"You're the only brother I have, dumbass." said Raditz.

Goku took a seat. "What now?"

"Goku were you a witness to any sort of cruelty to your older brother and Nappa?"

Goku tapped his chin for a while. Suddenly he remembered. "Oh yeah! I remember! I saw Vegeta about to help out that smelly bald guy with the wrestler mustache and then threw him up into the air and blew him up into millions of pieces!"

"You're just like Raditz except stupider." Nappa frowned at being called a smelly bald guy with a wrestler mustache. Raditz often said this about him when they were working for Frieza among other hurtful things.

"Were you any witness to any other cruelty?"

"Hmm…nope."

"Okay then. Jury, what's your verdict?" the judge asked the jury consisting of Videl, Roshi, 16, one of the Cell Juniors, Burter, and Launch.

"Guilty as fuck!" yelled Gero.

"LOCK HIM UP!" shouted Burter and Cell Jr.

"Guilty." said Videl, Launch, and 16.

"Let me touch his wife's boobs…I mean lock him up! He's a threat anyway!"

"Well Vegeta looks like your guilty!" sad Alex. "Your punishment is…hm…Raditz and Nappa are now your masters and you have to do whatever they say for a week."

"Like hell I am!"

"Goku will be making sure of it too."

"WHAT?! NOOOOOOOOOO!" Vegeta fell to the ground and screamed at the ceiling.

"Wait!" said Bulma standing up. "Does that mean that they're staying in the Other World or on Earth?"

"Earth duh."

"NO WAY! ONE MAN IS BAD ENOUGH!"

"Too bad! Your husband's a dick and you have to deal with it. Sorry, but that's what comes with marrying a maniac who doesn't people right!"

"CRAP!" Bulma stumped her foot. "It was so much better when I was dating Yamcha!"

"You owe me 50 more!"

"Crap again!"


End file.
